I have been lazy about posting partially because I've been laid up recovering from knee surgery and partially because I'm, well, lazy. Yet a few days ago I managed to make it to the Landmark.
TANGENT ALERT: ah the Landmark, one of those theaters you desperately want to like because even though you love the Arclight, you bemoan the fact that it is owned and run by the Sci-Tis (just in case you doubt this urban legend, I refer you to the fact that it is owned by an organization named The Decurion Corporation. Want even further proof? The motto on the front page of their website is "We view people not only as means, but also as ends in themselves." http://www.decurion.com/DecurionWeb/faces/team.jsp). Yet the Landmark is like every other multiplex, where the theaters have horrible sound bleed-over, the staff is underpaid and therefore couldn't give a rat's ass whether your popcorn was layered with butter throughout and the prints they receive for exhibition are bottom of the barrel that the distributor has maybe quality tested once in a blue moon.
But, as I said, I went to the Landmark and saw A SERIOUS MAN. I won't spend much time talking about this movie that much higher-qualified inksters have taken the time on. Suffice it to say that the film is awesome, and not just cause I'm a self-hating Heeb. As I found myself at the theater early, I decided against my better judgement to go to the Westside Tavern and have a burger.
I have been to the Westside Tavern before and was fairly unimpressed. Edible? Sure. But the garishly large space reminded me of a Vegas joint and institutional service masquerading as upscale is an element that particularly drives me up the wall. The only place like this that I have ever even moderately enjoyed remains Houston's. So what drove me to these confines, you ask? Well, many the folk (and several of them fairly well informed) have said to me recently that the Tavern serves a particularly delectable burger and it seemed as good as a time as ever to try it out. I checked out the menu, and ordered away:
When at first the burger arrived, all looked good:
Apparently, however, I overestimated the taste of those fairly well informed peeps.
First off, upon closer inspection, I noticed there was mayo that had laced the bun:
Now one thing I can't stand is mayo on my bun. I understand, however, that this might be a subjective complaint, so I decided to reference the menu again:
Nope, no mayo listed as a topping on the burger. I then tried to forgive them again, knowing that many chefs will not list all their ingredients and sometimes (for whatever inane reason) feel as if everyone likes mayo. The only problem here is that almost every other sandwich listed on the menu has some type of dressing listed, including (unfortunately not included in the photo above but feel free to check out the full menu here: http://www.westsidetavernla.com/ if you doubt me) the BLT which has, wait for it, FRIKKIN MAYO LISTED AS THE DRESSING.
Regardless, I decided to proceed. Some of you may ask, "Why didn't you send it back, Gutrbal?" I rarely send food back. I believe that first impressions, especially with food, should be the most important. And even if I decide to give a place a second chance, I would rather come back again another time then risk a line chef who had one too many Wellbutrins that morning decide to have some fun with my sent back order.
It was at this time that I decided to try a fry. Problem #2. Which isn't to say that the fries were bad, they were fine, but if you look closer at the above (thrice) referenced menu, it clearly states, "Sea-salted fries." And the fries were clearly not sea-salted. They were drenched in what one could only assume was some base Lawry's-type seasoning salt. And the only thing I hate more than institutional service masquerading as upscale is when a restaurant tries to sell you on something gourmet that they believe you as the consumer will just accept without knowing the difference. You know, like Starbucks.
But I (seriously) digress. Finally I tasted the burger. The verdict...meh. I mean, I tried to put aside the fact that it cost $13, that it was ladled with an egg based emulsifier and that it was served with the same type of fries I could get at Norm's. But even then gentle reader, I could not get over the fact that the burger just wasn't that good. The slightly toasted egg bun would have been a good idea had they not decided to lace it in butter. The arugula would have worked had it been fresher and had the stalks removed. The taste of the cheddar (combined with the quantity they used) gave the burger a heavier feel than necessary.
In conclusion, if you must, go see a movie at the Landmark. Do yourself a favor though and give the Westside Tavern a pass. If you're in the mood for a burger, refer to my earlier post about the Apple Pan; it's right across the street, kids.
P.S. The length of this post is in honor of the commenter from the previous post.
TANGENT ALERT: ah the Landmark, one of those theaters you desperately want to like because even though you love the Arclight, you bemoan the fact that it is owned and run by the Sci-Tis (just in case you doubt this urban legend, I refer you to the fact that it is owned by an organization named The Decurion Corporation. Want even further proof? The motto on the front page of their website is "We view people not only as means, but also as ends in themselves." http://www.decurion.com/DecurionWeb/faces/team.jsp). Yet the Landmark is like every other multiplex, where the theaters have horrible sound bleed-over, the staff is underpaid and therefore couldn't give a rat's ass whether your popcorn was layered with butter throughout and the prints they receive for exhibition are bottom of the barrel that the distributor has maybe quality tested once in a blue moon.
But, as I said, I went to the Landmark and saw A SERIOUS MAN. I won't spend much time talking about this movie that much higher-qualified inksters have taken the time on. Suffice it to say that the film is awesome, and not just cause I'm a self-hating Heeb. As I found myself at the theater early, I decided against my better judgement to go to the Westside Tavern and have a burger.
I have been to the Westside Tavern before and was fairly unimpressed. Edible? Sure. But the garishly large space reminded me of a Vegas joint and institutional service masquerading as upscale is an element that particularly drives me up the wall. The only place like this that I have ever even moderately enjoyed remains Houston's. So what drove me to these confines, you ask? Well, many the folk (and several of them fairly well informed) have said to me recently that the Tavern serves a particularly delectable burger and it seemed as good as a time as ever to try it out. I checked out the menu, and ordered away:
When at first the burger arrived, all looked good:
Apparently, however, I overestimated the taste of those fairly well informed peeps.
First off, upon closer inspection, I noticed there was mayo that had laced the bun:
Now one thing I can't stand is mayo on my bun. I understand, however, that this might be a subjective complaint, so I decided to reference the menu again:
Nope, no mayo listed as a topping on the burger. I then tried to forgive them again, knowing that many chefs will not list all their ingredients and sometimes (for whatever inane reason) feel as if everyone likes mayo. The only problem here is that almost every other sandwich listed on the menu has some type of dressing listed, including (unfortunately not included in the photo above but feel free to check out the full menu here: http://www.westsidetavernla.com/ if you doubt me) the BLT which has, wait for it, FRIKKIN MAYO LISTED AS THE DRESSING.
Regardless, I decided to proceed. Some of you may ask, "Why didn't you send it back, Gutrbal?" I rarely send food back. I believe that first impressions, especially with food, should be the most important. And even if I decide to give a place a second chance, I would rather come back again another time then risk a line chef who had one too many Wellbutrins that morning decide to have some fun with my sent back order.
It was at this time that I decided to try a fry. Problem #2. Which isn't to say that the fries were bad, they were fine, but if you look closer at the above (thrice) referenced menu, it clearly states, "Sea-salted fries." And the fries were clearly not sea-salted. They were drenched in what one could only assume was some base Lawry's-type seasoning salt. And the only thing I hate more than institutional service masquerading as upscale is when a restaurant tries to sell you on something gourmet that they believe you as the consumer will just accept without knowing the difference. You know, like Starbucks.
But I (seriously) digress. Finally I tasted the burger. The verdict...meh. I mean, I tried to put aside the fact that it cost $13, that it was ladled with an egg based emulsifier and that it was served with the same type of fries I could get at Norm's. But even then gentle reader, I could not get over the fact that the burger just wasn't that good. The slightly toasted egg bun would have been a good idea had they not decided to lace it in butter. The arugula would have worked had it been fresher and had the stalks removed. The taste of the cheddar (combined with the quantity they used) gave the burger a heavier feel than necessary.
In conclusion, if you must, go see a movie at the Landmark. Do yourself a favor though and give the Westside Tavern a pass. If you're in the mood for a burger, refer to my earlier post about the Apple Pan; it's right across the street, kids.
P.S. The length of this post is in honor of the commenter from the previous post.
Posts
Gutrbal,
ReplyDeleteArgh! And here I thought u r post-apocalyptically brilliant. Doncha know u only go to WT for the drinks? Oh, and maybe the cheese plate cause really, how can you screw up a cheese plate. OH, that's right. Ask them to nix the CASHEW BUTTER. Cashew butter. WTF?
Burger you forgot: UMAMI.