Fo sizzle...or not

Today was the soft launch of the Lardon truck.  Yes you would be correct in assuming that even though I poop on gourmet food trucks in general and have learned my lesson all too well in attending soft openings, I nevertheless was tracking with great anticipation the launch of something named after one of my favorite pastimes, cubing the grill with pork fat.

Well...you know when anticipation actually pays off and you realize that the third moon of Venus is perfectly aligned or some shit?  This wasn't that at all.  Yes, it was a soft opening, and yes, I showed up towards the end of their session but after the first bite I was checking Twitter to see if Ricky was serving today so I could get some real food.

I ordered the BLT.  A very nice man donning a Dodgers hat asked if I wanted the baguette toasted.  Sure.  Five minutes later, a very nice woman asked if I wanted my baguette toasted.  Why not?  Ten minutes later (and mind you, it wasn't as if the truck was swamped with orders, there was myself and one other person there), the woman apologized, informing me the fryer had gone on the fritz and that it would be a few more minutes.  Soon thereafter (and I swear the following to be true), Dodgers dude asked if I wanted the baguette toasted.  It was at this point when I began to wonder if the Lardon truck was run by the relatives of Corky from Life Goes On.


All the above would have been forgiven if the sando came out right.  Unfortunately, it arrived.  A slightly warm (the only evidence of any type of toasting) baguette carried with it three measly strips of peppered bacon, some soggy relatively ripe tomatoes, a slice of blue cheese and about ten pieces of Bibb lettuce (seemingly to make it feel as if there was something actually IN this sandwich they were charging $6 for).  


I'm trying to give them some type of benefit of something as it was the soft opening combined with my late arrival (and not to mention the sympathy points they get for being retarded), but really Lardon truck = fail.  Sorry kids.